In this online space, I have always been open and honest. I am often surprised when I peruse through my archives and see things I previously shared here. Whenever I have written a post, my process has always been the same. I’ll be wanting to pour my thoughts out on paper, and somehow through all the chaos, I’ll find the calm. I’ll get my answers from God and find that all along through all of it, He was just waiting on me to call out and say, hey God, it’s not okay right now. I need help.
I’ve found that when I allow myself to be transparent, the beauty of my situation becomes more apparent.
Now, I used to talk a lot about work and my struggles in it. How I just longed and wished for a job that would take me outside. One that would fill my days with adventure, and put the coffee coursing through my veins to good use. But now that I have one (details to follow soon), I thought it wasn’t okay to talk about how hard it actually is. This is what you prayed for isn’t it? I forgot how important it was for me to be open and honest. So I kept quiet. I contained my chaos within the safe confines of the pages in my journal. Hidden.
But one day changed all that. I happened to be on the grind, waiting for a group somewhere, and the directions I had been given, said to follow a path till I got to a dam. Once I got there I was like, really? This is more like a glorified puddle. However, the longer I sat there taking it all in, the more beautiful it became. I noticed the grass was littered with wild daisies. There were butterflies flying all around and there were birds singing in the trees. I sat there a while longer, and the lilies on the water began to jump out at me and the old fishing trap that lay on the bank became my muse for an impromptu photo shoot.
For anyone merely passing through, it would have been burdensome to wade through this dismal swamp, but for me committing to sit there for hours, I was forced to look for the beauty that lay within. I was filled with such peace. This experience reminded me of a post by @heyheyandrew on Instagram. (Sidebar; check out he and his partner @byebyeadrienne’s unconventional adventures, they are really amazing!). He had made a post about a trip they made to Oman. And after having wandered through the bare mountains for miles on end, they had ended up in the oasis in the valley, locally known as the wadi. There they had been met by life and flourishing and freedom. Contrary to popular belief;
life was in the depth of the valley and not on the peak of the mountain.
The valley held the refreshing for the parched soul, it held the rest, the peace and the laying down of burdens. And for that, the wadi is blessed.
This made me think about my own reluctance. I had actually forgotten how many of these pages were filled with times when I had been in the valley. I had forgotten how refreshing it had been to just empty myself of stress, worries and uncertainty and to be filled by inexplicable joy. The verse that came to me as I sat there was Matthew 6 v 28-30,
“Look how the wild flowers grow. They don’t work hard to make their clothes. But I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn’t as well clothed as one of them. God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields.”
Another reason why I was reluctant to share as consistently as I had
tried to before was because, like I shared on my Instagram page, I have never really considered myself a travel blogger. I’ve always just written about life and such. But now that almost all of my time is dedicated to wandering around for work, my life and work experiences are not mutually exclusive. Therefore, I’ve resolved to simply talk about it all, so I hope you enjoy this slight diversion in the road. Tomorrow, I’ll start to tell you of my 2018 adventures thus far. But for now, thank you for waiting for me to get my life back in order. Please know I love you like the unexpected sound of birdsong in a forsaken valley.